a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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