What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
