Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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