I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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