I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize