i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
