oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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