All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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