Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
