she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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