Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
