If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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