fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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