Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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