just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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