I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
