Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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