next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize