I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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