dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you will always have a special place in my vag
His hands were made for my vagina.
she pinky promised me she was 18
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
