I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize