What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
