Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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