Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
