Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
