Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Did we literally take a cab across the street
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
