It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
