After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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