Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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