Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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