so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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