Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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