so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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