you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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