you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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