She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I want a musical about memes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
