He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
