My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
