i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
