i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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