My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
