i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
