I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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