:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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