Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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