Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
