Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
