fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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