So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
