More tranny stories later!
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
