I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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