just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
