Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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