how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
