thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
