Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
