Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize