my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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