Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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