Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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