There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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